Nobel lollipop for US poster boy Obama

Bo, the birthday boy (I mean the dog) is both happy and sad. Reason: The White House darling is elated over his master Barack Obama’s Nobel Peace Prize feat. But now he wants more. He wants one for himself too. So, the Swedish Nobel Committee is giving a serious thought to initiating the Canine Nobel Peace Prize from next year. And no prizes for guessing who’s going to win it.

Nobel panel has cited Obama’s work in nuclear weapons elimination and international diplomacy as the primary reasons for giving him the coveted award. However, there are no takers for this (ill)logical argument. In nine months of his presidency, Obama has merely unveiled his ‘VISION’, the concrete work is yet to be done. Hence, a Nobel Peace prize for him at this stage is like handing over a merit certificate and a report card (bearing the ‘passed with distinction’ remarks) to a new entrant in a classroom.

While Bapu, Obama’s inspiration, was denied this honour, how could he be given this prize, simply on the basis of his brilliant oratory?

Being a complete Bollywood buff, I can’t help compare this situation with SRK winning Filmfare Award for almost every Yash Raj trash he has worked in. Hey, don’t think I am after this guy’s life (as I wrote a critical blog on him earlier). I love SRK for his oratory and charm and his self-made route to superstardom. But being charming doesn’t mean you deserve award almost every year, especially while Filmfare panel dares to put the likes of Naseeruddin Shah as nominees in the same category.

Anyways, coming back to international diplomacy, Obama’s visionary statements and proposals are undoubtedly impressive, but for God’s sake, the Nobel panel should have at least waited for the implementation.

Obama says he is humbled by the Nobel honour and thinks he doesn’t ‘deserve’ it. Well, we may not agree with his hollow VISION of a nuke-free world, but we surely agree with him on this one. Boy! You better pull your socks (and everything else) up and get going. A lot of work needs to be done. Being awarded with an A+ grade at the beginning of your presidential session means you better live up to the hype now. Enjoy the moment, but gear up for greater challenges ahead. As my friend Nadim puts it, it is scary. All eyes are glued on him.

One mistake and…no he won’t be out. The American fools will elect him for a second term in vain hope that the TDH hunk (tall, dark and handsome) will do something in another four years.

Coming up: UN Secretary General post for Mrs Obama, two mini Nobels for Obama daughters and of course, a Canine Nobel for Bo.

An ode to Pia, my little angel

Oh my lovely little angel!
you are not an ordinary girl.
I named you Pia,
as you are our prized possession, so very special.

Your eyes are so bright and deep
seem to be filled with eternal love and glee.
You are our sunshine, vital for us,
with you around, we feel so blessed.

I know you like to do everything that I do,
in fact, I see a lot of myself in you.
I know you love me a lot,
I like to be clicked and you also love to be photographed.

Like me, you too seek Nani’s undivided attention,
her presence matters to both of us,
and we can’t bear her separation.

You are our family’s first child,
in you Oh my baby, we take so much pride.
You are intelligent, bright and chirpy,
you have the natural tendency to make others happy.
When you are scolded or feel sad and ignored,
you rush to Nani to complain, with your misty eyes rolled.
That look on your face is truly divine,
May you always remain cheerful and shine!

You are so talkative, adventurous and naughty,
thanks to your Nani, who is ever so doting.
My fairy, you love to dress stylishly and get decked up,
despite being a good dancer, why on parties you refuse to open up?

You keep bullying your little sis Aarushi,
when I scold you for being nasty, you smile so sheepishly.
Yet I have seen that with no one around,
your affection for Aru knows no bounds.

You are a sensitive child with a kind heart,
I know you will grow up into a great lady, so outstanding and smart.
Please learn to smile properly,
as of now, you do it pretty weirdly.

I just want you to remember what I say,
I will always stand by you, however tricky might be the case.
Enjoy every moment of your life,
Remember, time and life like to quickly fly.

You have been my lucky charm,
you know I could not prepare well for my final year exams.
Why? Because I remained busy taking you in my arms,
Yet I passed with flying colours,
and was declared the university topper.

Please teach good things to your sisters (Aru & Aanu),
no matter what the circumstances, you should always stay together.
Just as Deepa & Meena stood by me like a rock,
when I was passing through a bad phase and a state of shock.

Oh my gypsy-eyed gal,
work hard and read a lot,
this is the mantra to success.
Be wise and develop a taste for reading,
“It really helps,” say all the wise sayings.

Dear, life itself will teach you a lot,
Be firm on your decisions, and remain open to adopt.
I have full confidence in you,
no matter where I live, I will always bless and love you.

Love,
Choti Massi

Jinnah strikes BJP again

Over a decade back, BJP emerged strongly as an alternative to the 'Grand Old Party'. Though led by 75+ leader Atal Bihari Vajpayee, the saffron brigade soon convinced the voters, comprising mostly the youth, that it was a 'party with a difference'. But, courtesy the Vajpayee-Advani (on and off) rivalry, infighting among its second rung leaders like Arun Jaitely, Sushma Swaraj, Rajnath Singh, Yashwant Sinha and the late Pramod Mahajan, the BJP soon turned into 'a party with differences'. Its feel good honeymoon got over when it faced a shocking defeat from its arch-rival Congress in the 2004 Lok Sabha elections. This forced the party to hold a 'chintan baithak' to analyse what went wrong. Its 'Ram mandir' agenda had fallen flat. Voters were only interested in concrete economic progress and not tall speeches. The party was caught in a dilemma whether to leave the Ayodhya issue or to stick to it. There was also a need to bring forth the young faces of the party. Unfortunately, the young brigade was busy pulling each other down in full public view. Vajpayee was now too old to be carried along. So, the party decided to focus on the old (but slightly younger than Vajpayee), faithful servant of the party - Advani. However, Advani dug his own grave by praising Jinnah on his tour to Pakistan. He faced the party's ire and was almost on his way out, when the party realised it actually had no other face to project as the prime ministerial candidate in the next Lok Sabha polls. As the UPA completed its full term, the BJP projected Advani for PM's post against Manmohan Singh. But, the youth icon Rahul Gandhi emerged as the surprise package of Congress and played a key role in UPA's Lok Sabha win. The fact is that BJP had nothing to offer to the voters barring its Babri rant and UPA bashing. Varun Gandhi's communal venom bit the dust against Rahul Gandhi's pro-poor charm. While Congress has a long list of fresh faces to display, the BJP is still not able to discipline its young brats, who leave no opportunity to wash their dirty linen in public. One thing is sure. 81-year-old Advani's long cherished dream of becoming PM is never going to be fulfilled. Amid the RSS bashing, the BJP held its 'Chintan in Shimla, where on the very first day it expelled its senior leader Jaswant Singh over his controversial book on Jinnah. The party had failed to adopt the same approach towards Advani a few years back. Jinnah has struck the party again. There seems to be no end to its worries. In fact, its biggest chinta is - Who's going to be Advani's successor? Seeing the infighting among the young guns in the party, the selection seems to be a Herculean task. The BJP should better seek advice from Jinnah's jinn, which keep resurfacing from his grave, to haunt the party. Only he has an answer to the saffron dilemma. What say?

King Khan Kaun?

Remember the dimple-cheeked ‘Fauzi’, who crossed the ‘Dil Dariya’ to carve a niche for himself in the TV ‘Circus’? He later went on to achieve superstardom in the B-town through an amazing blend of talent, charm and luck. From apni Dilli’s boy-next-door Shahrukh Khan, he became the King Khan.

“I never wanted to eat chaat-papdi and golgappe on Delhi streets as an unrecognized face. I am proud of what I have achieved and where I have reached. I always knew I belonged to this place. I don’t miss my privacy. I love my super-iconic status,” says SRK abashedly. And we have always loved him for not being a hypocrite like other ‘superstars’, who now long for ‘privacy from prying fans’. He has a say on anything and everything under the Sun. Be it his ‘off and on’ race with Big B and AK to prove who’s a bigger star, his so-obvious tiffs with Dada or his unfounded remarks on the Little Master (Sunil Gavaskar), this Pathan knows how to court trouble.

When Emran Hashmi tried to fetch undue publicity by raking up the religious issue, he was quick to slam the attempt. But it is ludicrous to see Bollywood’s self-proclaimed clown trying to adopt the same tactic for promoting his upcoming flick ‘My Name is Khan’. He and his NRI-obsessed buddy Karan Johar now want to try their hand in serious cinema after a series of mindless a la-Rahul movies. But, after making the audience diabetic with heavy doses of candy-floss cinema, it would be really difficult task for them to convince the audience (and of course the critics) that they actually mean to do something ‘meaningful’. A God-sent opportunity came and they lose no time in minting it.

SRK was detained for 2 hours (as he claims) by the US airport authorities recently for questioning and he alleged unfair treatment. The airport officials clarified that they only questioned him for 66 minutes over his missing baggage as per the rule there. But King Khan was ‘deeply hurt’ by their behavior. Dropping the M-bomb, he said he was targeted as he belonged to a particular religion, thus creating a perfect publicity background for his upcoming movie which also deals with the post-9/11 scenario in the US, which reflects west bias against the Muslims.

The coincidence is far too much to digest. A ‘visibly upset’ SRK now threatens to avoid going to the US altogether due to this unfair treatment. It is a different matter that he has always put US at the top of his holiday list, a perfect location for carrying out his Temptation tour. It is one of the biggest markets for his movies. And the best part is that he has always taken so much pride in the fact that even the non-Hindi speaking audience, have loved his performances (if there have been any real ones). Suddenly, just some months ahead of the release of his movie, all this has changed for him.

He is calling American airport officials ‘biased’ just because they refused to recognize his superstar status and decided to treat him at par with others. It is a huge blow to his ego and has provided him a great opportunity to promote the theme of his movie through a ‘real experience’.

Gosh! When will SRK grow up? He must learn to stop treating his fans like fools through such tactics. And he must also learn the bitter lesson of humility and allow at least somebody to ask him King Khan Kaun, without feeling offended.

Pete Sampras is still the greatest tennis player

Roger Federer may have won his 15th grand slam title registering his name as the greatest tennis player in history, but that is only for the records' sake. The fact is Pete Sampras is and will always be the best ever. The world today may be going gaga over Federer's feat and the fact that he took just six years to reach this level against Pete's 12 years but has anyone really bothered to have a look at the list of the rivals of Sampras in comparison with Federer? In that case, it will be crystal clear who stands where. While Sampras had to edge out some of the greatest tennis players to reach the feat of 14 grand slams (Andre Agassi, Boris Becker, Jim Courier, Patrick Rafter to name a few), Federer never really faced any tough hurdle from anyone barring Nadal, who like other players of this generation has fallen an easy prey to injuries now, thereby giving a clear path to the so-called greatest player. Even the tennis experts feel that the great rivalries like that of Steffi-Monica or Sampras-Agassi have now become the thing of the past. Federer never really faced a stiff competition from anyone barring Nadal as others like Andy Roddick, who gave him a tough fight in Wimbledon final, never really could achieve the status of arch-rivals. Most of the other tennis players of today's generation have been quite inconsistent and injury-prone and could never give an Andre Agassi-like fight to a geat champion. The greatness of any player is judged by the greatness and quality of his rivals whom he has to beat on his way to top. Pete Sampras did just that by overpowering Boris Becker, who was regarded as the best net player of his time, and Andre Agassi who had the best return. There is no denying that Roger Federer is one of the bests in the history having won all grand slams including the elusive French Open, but his feat of 15 coveted titles comes nowhere near Pete's 14 wins. Sampras is and will remain the best player ever, even if Federer goes on to win another 15 grand slams, which doesn't look impossible, seeing the lack of quality rivals against him. Federer is one of the bests and certainly not the best as that title will always be reserved for Pete, if not in record books then certainly in the hearts of millions of fans like me.